


Home

by jiminnienuggets



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, M/M, Mentions of Attempted Suicide, and troy, episode 4x03, i'm so mad how nick died, just both of them tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-18 00:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16107383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiminnienuggets/pseuds/jiminnienuggets
Summary: After suffering for so long, Nick finally goes home to Troy.-Inspired by nicofox's/Natalia Romanova's Troy/Nick FMV titled "Home"





	Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nicofox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicofox/gifts).



> I cried while writing this. Fair warning. I'd been wanting to write a fic like this, but after watching nicofox's/Natalia Romanova's fmv "Home", I really got inspired, and after getting her permission, I wrote this. Please make sure to check out their video! Here's a link to it.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTTvrVlX0wQ

How was this fair? How was any of this fair? 

He could feel the blood running from the corner of his mouth, feel his fingers wet and sticky with it as well. Nick fought the urge to close his eyes and wondered--how was any of this fair? 

Two years ago, he had tried to die. Blowing up the dam should have killed him. It was what he wanted. Every night afterwards, he’d close his eyes and see his mother swinging the hammer into Troy’s head; the only person who got him, understood him, didn’t judge him… his only actual friend. The only actual friend he’d had in--god, he didn’t even know how long.

And he’d tried to kill himself. But like he had told Troy, he proved to be suicide proof. So he shut himself in instead, wondering how was it fair that he was still forced to live when all he had wanted was to go--to go home, some place, any place where he could be free of this hellish cycle that was… could he even call it life? This state of being that his mother dragged him around, her hand gripping tight around his wrist and not even letting him catch his breath for a moment, or disappear for a moment.

He was forced to live. And it was the worst torture that he could possibly imagine.

But he got used to it. He had resigned himself to living. Then Luciana came back, and he resigned himself to her. He resigned himself to the stadium and to life farming. He resigned himself to it all. He got used to it. And maybe he still didn’t really want to be alive, but maybe he also didn’t want to die.

Yet here he was, choking on his own blood, a whole in his stomach because of a little girl he had tried so hard to protect and care for. His entire life, he’d spent wandering, lost amongst the people who knew who they were and where they were going and what they were doing, but Nick barely knew anything. Didn’t know himself, didn’t really know what he wanted, or how to make himself even happy. He didn’t have a home, not really.

Until the ranch. It had been the best home he had known; that little cottage he’d rebuilt by hand, a gun in his hand as he stood with the militia, cowering against a wall in the Otto house as he tried to talk Troy down. None of it had been perfect, but… he had felt at home, somehow.

Before then and since then, nothing had felt right. But he didn’t want to die, not now, at least not like this. He had always thought he’d be able to go out on his own terms. That’s what he had wanted. To die on the dam, protecting his family, no matter what his mother had done, he’d protect her and Alicia--hell, even Strand who had helped him so many times. And then he’d die. He’d die and join Troy, the only person who really felt like… home. 

He could see Alicia and Luciana crying above him, begging him to stay strong, telling him that it was all going to be okay--and he tried. He tried so hard to fight, to hold on, but he felt himself growing weaker. 

And he was scared. Nick was lost and he was scared and what would he do now? He didn’t want to leave Alicia or Luciana or Strand--they were all he had. He was all they had.

But his vision blurred and all he could hear was the distant sound of his loved ones crying, until, eventually, that was gone too. 

When he opened them back up, he was surrounded by flowers. Blue and violet were vibrant in his vision. Bluebells brushed the side of his face and he could see the sky, bluer than any sky he had ever seen. 

Nick tilted his head and blinked. He felt no pain. There were no sounds of crying, no blood on his face and he brushed his hand down his stomach, feeling for a hole, for blood pouring out of him, but nothing. He was whole. 

He was dead, right? He had to be. And this field, here, alone… this was what things would be like now?

“You finally got here.”

He sat up quickly, turning his head to look behind himself and at once lost his breath. Shock froze him before he dug his hand into the dirt at the sight of the person before him. “Troy..?” He really was dead then. And Troy was here. 

Nick could almost feel a stinging in his eyes and he wasn’t sure if it was from sadness or happiness but a tear fell from his eyelash and onto his cheek.

“You know… I almost thought that you wouldn’t come.” Troy seemed to be highlighted in violet, the air surrounding him a hazy purple and lilac. “I’ve been waiting for awhile now.”

“I-I tried…” Nick pushed out, his voice shaking and breaking with his words. “I tried right after--I tried to. I wanted to. I didn’t want to be there anymore… it hurt.”

“I know, Nicky.” Troy smiled and Nick relaxed. How was it that just seeing him again, after so long, was making him happier than he had been in two years? His friend took a few steps forward and kneeled down, holding out his hand for him to take. “C’mon, Nicky. I’ve got you.”

Nick didn’t hesitate, grasping at his hand and soon he was on his feet, his fingers still locked with Troy’s. “Where are we going?” Troy smiled and suddenly the air shifted. The entire world shifted and no longer was Nick standing in the field of bluebells, but on a hill overlooking the entire ranch. People, horses, the sounds of life. Everything was there, like the hoard had never happened. 

“We’re going home.” Troy said softly, seeming more at peace now than he ever had in life. “And it’s nice to have company.”

Home. That’s what Troy was. Troy was home.


End file.
